Mother’s little helper: The social network helping women beat the bottle

Mother’s little helper: The social network helping women beat the bottle

Here is a link to a good piece in the Express about the soberistas site which is going from strength to strength. It has been in existence for just over a year and has about 23,00 members. It is a great alternative to AA, as it is online, safe from predatory behaviour and you can fit it in with a busy lifestyle, such as working or looking after children. The site has a chatroom, a forum, as well as many members blogs, which really inspire others.  There is talk of all kinds of things that help in recovery, such as healthy lifestyles and meditation. The books written by the site owner’s are really inspiring and reflect the times we live in , compared to the old-fashioned literature that is found in some other groups, which have not modified their approaches, to meet the demands of today.

Many are making friends through this network which certainly attracts many who would not feel comfortable in more traditional recovery groups, although some do us both. There is a lot of good practical advice and support from people who are new to recovery themselves. Several have written very positive books about their experiences. I like the way they describe themselves as living an alcohol free lifestyle. I think that is a very positive self-image compared  to the powerless model. I am sure this group will grow and grow and hope it helps many in the future. There is certainly a demand for this in the UK!

Here is the article

Here is a section from it

“My name is Kate and I’m a Soberista. I’m “AF” (alcohol free) or – if you prefer – good old-fashioned teetotal. I’m also a mother of two with a husband, a home, a job and, until recently, a drink problem.

I’m not saying I’d got to the shaky-hands, vodka-in-the-loo-at-lunchtime stage – far from it. I was simply one of the great army of working mums for whom five o’clock had become wine o’clock, and who could put away a whole bottle without batting a mascara’d eyelid. But then I decided to stop.

“Why not just cut down a bit?” I hear you ask. “Why miss out on all the fun?” Well, frankly I’d been trying to cut down a bit for 20 years. Friends would laugh – usually over a few glasses of pinot – and say, “Don’t beat yourself up!” And it’s true, I didn’t appear to have a problem – not to my friends, my family, my colleagues or even my doctor. But deep down I knew that my relationship with booze was deeply unhealthy.

Then, on August 15 last summer, I put the children to bed and decided to do a spot of decorating. I’d have a quick glass first, of course, so I opened a bottle. Two hours later I’d finished it, so I went in search of more. I found some Southern Comfort and lemonade in the garage so I carried on drinking (and painting) till midnight. By the time my husband came back from a late shift at work, I was tucked up in bed, snoring.

I awoke at 3am, dry-mouthed, heart pounding as my body tried to cope with the 17 units of alcohol I’d consumed that evening. Recriminations ran through my mind: what if I’d needed to take my kids to A&E?  What if I’d passed out? And I felt crushing guilt that once again my “two glasses of wine” had turned into much more. Clearly, I was not in control of my drinking.

I’d been here before but this time felt different. I felt as though I was approaching a cliff edge and I’d just taken another step forwards. I crept downstairs and Googled “how to give up alcohol”. Up popped the usual suspects: nannying NHS guidelines, Alcoholics Anonymous, private clinics for drink-sodden celebrities. And then I noticed a new name: Soberistas.

I started reading. Immediately I realised this was different. Here was a site that didn’t patronise me, didn’t threaten to empty my bank account or scare me into sobriety. Quickly I joined, and began reading people’s blogs. Suddenly I was surrounded by women like me – normal women with kids and homes and jobs and  issues with alcohol. For the first time in my life, I wrote something on a message board, saying how much I wanted to stop drinking and asking for advice. As I sent this tiny distress flare into cyberspace, I felt my first glimmer of hope.

Next morning I awoke to replies from 15 total strangers, all of them saying, “Don’t worry. We get you. You can do it,” while suggesting books to read and tips to get me through the first few days. I felt as though I’d been thrown a lifeline. ”

Here is a link to the soberistas site





Commenting area

  1. Great read there. I like how she mentioned that the soberistas site was not going to drain her bank account. I love the options popping up online. I think in particular for Moms, the privacy and convenience, and of course added safety is a huge positive. One’s children are children, they do not need to know the details of a parents addiction problem. Let them have their innocence they deserve if at all possible.

  2. It is good to see that the soberistas site which is nonjudgemental to different approaches is getting so much publicity. Lots of people aare joining it that would not go near AA. Kenneth Anderson interviewed Karen Black who uses the site and who wrote the “Sober is the new Black book” yesterday and she made some interesting points.
    It is good to see a recovery site prosper that is not simply a mouthpiece for AA and where the members treat eachother with respect. I feel they will achieve a lot in a short period.

  3. I am glad to see that Kenneth Anderson has a blog talk radio show and had that interview with Karen Black!

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