Rational Email

Rational Recovery BookIt is always good to get an email from somebody who has found the site helpful. I got permission from Tim who wrote this to put this on the site. I also used some of the ideas from Rational Recovery http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36      in my early days of recovery when I was looking for alternatives to AA. I read the Rational Recovery book http://rational.org/shop/index.php and found a lot of the ideas linked in with many of the things I was taught in CBT counselling.

I think Rational Recovery really helped those of us who were not interested in the religious spiritual side of AA, and who did not think that God was going to do anything .

Thanks again for the email and if anybody else wants me put a piece on the site please get in touch. I really do not have the time to do that much these days and would really be repeating myself on many issues if I wrote about the same things. Most visitors to this site are thinking about leaving AA and are searching for alternatives.

Message Body:
Like your site! Thank you for your work and efforts in addressing this important issue. I’d like to get involved. I’ve latched on to Rational Recovery: Hope we can connect.

I was diagnosed at age 15 as an alcoholic. I’m now 52.
That diagnosis has been an ‘evil and corrosive thread’ in my life. It’s hard to admit I allowed myself to accept the disease concept but I did. It’s embarrassing – but it is reality. Here’s what I accepted and continued to believe for 37 years:
• I am afflicted with an unprovable, incurable, fatal and progressive disease
• I am powerless to treat it on my own
• The only prescription to treat this disease is constant support from:
 A Higher Power
 AA Meetings
 The AA fellowship
 An AA sponsor
 Consistent application of the 12 steps in my life
• This disease inexplicably causes me to reach a point where there will be no mental defence against the first drink.
• Unless I hand over my life to an unqualified sponsor, a God of my understanding, and the 12 Steps, I am guaranteed a life of jails, institutions, and death.
• If I do relapse, it can only be because I didn’t apply the above formula well enough or perhaps failing to disclose a deep dark secret somewhere in my life that I can’t identify or am unwilling to admit.
• If I do what I’m told, shut my mouth, and blindly follow my unqualified sponsor’s advice and AA’s program my reward is… wait for it…
• A good chance to stay sober for 1 Day!!!!!

While I admit that for some people, AA does help them stay sober. The issue for me was whether it was helping me achieve total abstinence. Evidence (repeated relapses over 37 years) suggests it didn’t help me then and won’t help me now. I actually believe AA kept me sick by providing an ideal setup/excuse to relapse. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t angry at AA and the Recovery Movement for the fear mongering that is so prevalent. The good news is that 37 years after that ridiculous diagnosis, I am free. Further, AVRT has allowed me to recognise that the anger I feel toward AA, albeit justified, can be a weak point for my addictive voice to target in hope of preventing me from flawlessly executing my Big Plan. That’s not going to happen. I’m on to my AV and look forward to showing it absolutely no mercy going forward!
Bottom line, it’s time to put on my big boy pants and take full responsibility for my past decisions to continue to ‘relapse’ – I don’t think ‘relapse’ is even the right word to use since it implies some force beyond my control caused me to resign abstinence and resume drinking and using. I drank because I love the effect produced by alcohol. Same thing with drugs. They worked. They allowed me to effortlessly change the way I was feeling. There really are no free passes left for me when it comes to drinking and using. The solution is 100% abstinence for the rest of my life. I’m 32 days in and the hope I feel is indescribable.
I actually went through an exercise of listing the 12 steps out and comparing what AVRT and RR’s alternative.
Here’s what I came up with for Step 1.
AA Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable
The truth – I admit that I love the pleasure of being intoxicated so much that despite clear and indisputable evidence of its guaranteed negative impact on my life – I continued to drink/use.
Let’s be honest here. I drank and used drugs because I wanted to feel pleasure. Alcohol and drugs have always immediately improved the way that I felt. Some of my most pleasurable moments of my life have been under the influence of drugs and alcohol. This is the ‘great fact’ for me. Drugs and alcohol work in that respect. They always have and they always will. History has shown me that the pain created by drinking and drug binges significantly outweighs the brief pleasure I experience when high and the escape I seek is always temporary. The after effect of drinking or using drugs is increasingly more negative and severe. I can no longer safely drink or use drugs. My addictive voice has been a cunning and powerful force in my life, but it has never had the power to compel me to drink or use. Those decisions were mine and I am responsible for them. Most of the problems in my life stem from my unwillingness to address the challenges that come up in life and face them effectively. Not addressing them has created pain and pressure to build up. When the pain or pressure of not effectively dealing with life became greater than the fear of escaping with drugs and alcohol, I decided to take the easy way out to change how I felt with substances.


Commenting area

  1. Love how frankly he discussed his thoughts on AA.

  2. I am crashing out of orthodox AA to be honest i have been crashing out of it for most of the time i have been in it. i really wanted to be a part of it but in 3 years i have just not been able to connect with it and i am just not the kind of person who can go along with things i dont,like because i want to be accepted. I only know whats best for my self not others so i think people should go and have there experience of things. I am grateful for the good it did me but i cant spend the rest of my life being over grateful for something i dont think is healthy for me…..these are the reasons i am ducking out.

    My name is …… and i dont want to give my self negative labels for the rest of my life. I think labels are very powerful and its what we eventually become and there self prophesising. i think it good in the beggining to admit you have a problem but yeah i messed up why do i have to spend the rest of my life beating my self over the head with it and practicing self flagellation like i have and witness other members doing. Like if i had cancer a few years ago but i dont have it anymore why would i go round saying i still have it.

    controlling sponsors . my soon to be x sponsor seems to think i am going to be just like him for the rest of my life which with all due respect is not an attractive proposition of for me. Also he began criticising what i was sharing in meetings and telling me what i should be saying…my previous sponsor always loved what i was saying in meetings..so its all a matter of taste and opinion really . either way its all very weird.

    Fellowship. spend all your time with AA members. Talk about all your issues and chant aa slogans in meetings…go out for dinner together and talk about all your issues and chant aa slogans….life is just one big wonderful meeting.

    Fear based mentallity. once an alcoholic always and alcoholic (members quote) I am always on the precipice of this catastrophe called relapse . every day is just a repreive in this long winding road called alcoholism that will only end when i die.

  3. When i say orthodox AA i mean mainstream AA but i just recently i have attended some AA agnostica and athiests meetings. I was a mixture of shocked and refreshed at how radical it was. Everyone can label them selfs (or not ) as they wish. there is no copys of the big book in fact they have there own book. and critical expression about the programme is welcomed and encouraged and sponsorship is not promoted nor are any sponsors asked to make them selfs known and they have more than one alternative 12 steps ..i never thought i would see such a thing in AA but gives me some hope that reform is possible.

  4. Brenda Eady August 11, 2018 at 5:35 pm · · Reply

    I am a Mother of an alcoholic and also have a non profit program for ladies coming off drugs or alcohol and desire a better way of life . I just stumble across the Naked Mind yesterday and then heard you this morning talking with Annie Grace and you help me so much. My son had struggled with this for 31 years and been in and out of trouble. People would tell me let him hit bottom and he will find himself. Oh my how many prayers have been prayed and how many bottoms is he going to hit. You make me understand more today than ever. I have stood by him when everyone else ha told me leave him. Last July he was stopped at a roadblock and the cops tazed him 14 times his eye nerves are damage. My entire family told me to leave him in jail and after 3 months I could not stand that he possibly was hurt so I gave in and he was hurt and had no medical attention. I am so at the end and he says I do not want this life but how do I get better. He says AA is not for him. Thank you; I feel maybe I have some hope for him today but we go to court Monday and there is a possibility he will serve time and I certainly do not feel this is the answer. Blessings to you, Brenda Eady

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